Expat Life: That embarrassing trip to the doctor’s office.

As you have probably read in my article about the Viborg Swimming Pool, I am a bit shy when it comes to nudity. I like taking showers behind shower curtains, getting dressed and undressed in private and keeping my body to myself. You won’t see me casually having a conversation with a stranger in the locker room as I stand there completely naked. Nope! That’s not me AT ALL! So…why am I talking about nudity when this post is supposed to be about the doctor? It can’t even be put into words, but I’ll try.

Yes, I know that it is probably just me who gets all crazy about things like this, but I think it is that craziness that makes these experiences so memorable…and also a bit scary!

So what happened?

I have been having major leg and knee pain for the past week or so, and I thought it would be a good idea to go to the doctor in town to get it checked out. Pretty normal idea, right? I, of course, have had issues with my legs/knees before, so I was a bit aware of how the appointment might go. I have also been to the doctor in Denmark a few different times for different things, but the majority of those trips were just for the common cold, which only required me to take my coat off. Of course, in order to get my legs looked at, I’d have to get my pants off. Oh, boy!!

I was sitting in the waiting room, waiting for the doctor to come and fetch me. I was wondering if it would be one of the female doctors or the one male doctor that they had. A little voice in the back of my mind said, “Please, don’t give me the dude!” I felt like Harry Potter wearing the sorting hat and begging not to be placed in Slytherin. Unlike Harry, I didn’t get my wish. Not to say that the “dude” isn’t a good doctor, but I’m a big ol’ baby, and I really wanted a female doctor for this visit. (Side note, I still need to plan a “lady exam” at the doctor. God, give me strength!) In walks the “dude”, and away we went to the examining room.

I noticed right away that there was a table in the room with stirrups. OMG! Luckily, he motioned for me to sit in the chair. I could sit. No problem. We chatted a bit about the pain, and the visit seemed to be going great. He looked something up on his computer, we talked a bit about my medical history, and then it happened. He said that I would need to take off my shoes, socks and pants so that he could have a better look at my leg. My initial thought was, “sure. Where’s my robe? When’s the dude going to step out of the room?” I think that little voice was the old, USA version of me, who would be accustomed to having the doctor hand me a gown or even a blanket to put over my legs as he stepped out of the room to allow me some privacy to get situated and ready to be observed. Nothing like that even closely happened. Nope! Dude just went back to typing something on his computer and made no signs of leaving the room. I slowly took my shoes and socks off and was talking to him about something. I think I was stalling and giving him time to exit the room. I took a short pause after making my feet bare, which was when he said that he also needed me to take my pants off. AGGHHH!!! Ok, Fine!

What is my problem exactly? This man is a professional. I am not the first woman to have to take my pants off as he sits there and watches me. Yuck! I felt so disgusting, though. I know there is nothing special about me or my thunder thighs, but something about the experience made me fell close to a $2 hooker. Am I a bit dramatic? Yeah…maybe a smidge. I wanted to put my hand over my eyes the entire time, but I had to maintain my composure and not let it show how completely horrified I was. The thoughts going through my head were also not helping. I was worried that I had magically gotten my period and had soiled myself or that my underwear had holes in it. I didn’t want to do a underwear check right then and there in front of the dude, so I sat there and let him check my leg, freaking all the while that there was something seriously embarrassing going on here. I thought that the exam would quickly be over, but that was about the same time that he told me to lay down on the table. I felt again that I just wanted to cover my head and disappear. I get it! I’m really immature, but how many people get to see me in my underwear on a day-to-day basis. (The answer to that is 3, if I forget to lock the bathroom door.)

He moved and twisted and pushed my leg to get a better idea of what was going on. Then, he told me to roll over so that he could check my back. I KNOW at this point I was squeezing my eyes shut. Dang! If there is an issue with my underwear, he’ll know about it from this view. Please, God. Let today be a “good underwear” day. Why hadn’t I thought to check which underwear I was wearing before I left the house!?! I guess it could’ve been worse. It could have been a thong!! Hahah! Eww! Gross!

Nothing during my appointment was out of the ordinary, except for the lack of privacy. I’m sure from his standpoint, it was just another day at the office, but for me, it was just another embarrassing experience in Denmark. I made a mental note to wear shorts under my pants for my next doctor’s appointment. A girl can never be too careful!

Later when I got home, I ran straight to the bathroom to do a much needed underwear check. Who really cared at this point, though. The damage would have been done, the appointment was over, and I couldn’t change anything. Luckily to my relief, my underwear were completely normal. No stains, no holes, nothing to bat an eyelash at. I had completely psyched myself out for no reason. I was beginning to think that maybe living in Denmark isn’t really all that crazy, but maybe I am!

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