Why a Budget-Friendly, Couple’s Getaway is Good for Your Marriage

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Are you a part of a married couple with children who feels the need to have a couple’s getaway every so often to keep your marriage fresh? Do you spend much of your time working and would like to focus some of your time traveling with your spouse without having to go broke in the process? If you answered YES, you are not alone!

My husband and I like to travel; in fact, we had done our fair bit of traveling before starting a family, and we have continued to travel with our children ever since. The problem with going from traveling as a couple to traveling as a family is that our trips tend to be centered around the children, and the trips that my husband and I used to spend, enjoying each other’s company aren’t a priority anymore. Don’t get me wrong! There are lots of wonderful times on our family trips, but they can be a lot of work making sure that everyone is entertained and tantrum-free. In order for marriages to focus more attention on the couple and not be overpowered by the needs of the children, it is so important for couples to take time to make a couple’s getaway at least once a year without the kids.

No Mom Shaming Here

Sometimes, I just long for the days when my husband and I can explore a place alone. I don’t feel that it makes me a bad mom. I think it makes me a better partner, which, I can’t forget, I was first. I see some couples who never do anything with their kids, but tend to have tons of couple time. There are other families who take  couple-only trips and family trips and seem happy with both. I am sure that people do what is best for them and know what works for their families. I am not hating or mom shaming anyone, but I find it hard to want to do things without my kids.  Perhaps it is my guilty conscious or my somewhat, still-existing separation anxiety as a long-standing side effect of postpartum depression, but I just am a bit more wishy-washy and want to be with my babies. Taking these trips can feel a bit hard at times, but I have to tell myself as much as I do the kids, that the three days the kids spend alone with grandma will make everyone stronger! There is no need for the guilt. I know I am a good mom. My children never lack in things to do or with family time. I can’t tell you how many hours I have spent playing with Legos or searching for zombies in the forest. Yes! I am a “boy mom” and love it!

Always Loving Up My Boys

Focusing on the Marriage

I enjoy all of these moments and feel blessed to have these boys, but I don’t want to forget the guy who first stole my heart. I married a man, who travels from time-to-time, and when he is home, we tend to be so busy with the hustle and bustle of our daily lives that we end up falling asleep with the kids many nights.  Quality time as a couple seems to get thrown on the waste side. My husband and I don’t always find time for date nights and other couple-only activities. Though we have nice friends who can watch the kids for an hour or two, we don’t live around family, who can step in at a moment’s notice and watch the kids for a few days. It may take quite a bit of luck and planning to make sure everything is in order, but when we finally get the chance to sneak away, it is worth it. This is why we focus on making our annual, couple’s getaway a priority in our marriage.

Planning Your Trip with a Budget

When you think about the costs of an annual, couple’s trip, you need to think about how it can fit in your budget. Here are the areas that need some attention!

How many days should the trip be?

When my husband and I travel for a couple’s getaway, we tend to take no more than 3-4 days away. This means that we don’t have much time to travel or that we can’t go too far away from home. You might decide that you want to take a bit longer away, but those are also factors that will affect your budget. We like to take one big vacation with the kids every year and a few smaller trips. In order for us to stay within our budget for all of these trips, we stick to only 3-4 days for the couple’s getaway. This is also a good amount of time to leave our children with their grandma. They might kill her with exhaustion if we are gone longer! Poor woman!

Where should we go and how should we get there?

When we lived in Illinois (USA), we loved going into Wisconsin for a couple’s getaway. Towns on Lake Michigan had lots of charm, and we were glad not to be too far away. We also had weekends in Chicago, which was a place we often took our children. It was nice to spend time there as a couple, too. It allowed us time to see and do the things that wouldn’t have interested the children. We might have even made this a 2-day trip when the boys were very little. Being anywhere within a couple of hours drive from the boys was a MUST for our planning, so we always took the car on our first getaways.

Chicago Cubs Game

Now that our boys are a bit older and that we live in Denmark, we take the opportunity to go to another country for a long weekend. (This, of course, could be like flying to another big city within the US, if you already live in the US.) We have taken the car to places, but if we are lucky to find a cheap flight out of our local airport to a country that isn’t more than a couple of hours away, we opt for flying to a completely new place and having new experiences. We have traveled to Berlin, Barcelona and Budapest, so far, and would love to find more places that are budget-friendly that offer great new experiences.

In order to get the best deals on the flights, we make sure NEVER to check a bag on the plane. This means that we have to travel EXTREMELY light with only taking a carry-on bag. These small airplanes also have stricter requirements for how big the carry-on bag can be, so we make sure not to take anything extra that we don’t need. This might not be ideal for many travelers, who can’t seem to get by without three bags per person. Take it from me, you don’t need that stuff. The reason you are going on this trip is for your marriage, so don’t stress the material things. Allowing for a budget-friendly trip to have more quality time with your spouse is worth leaving the extra three pairs of shoes at home. Trust me! The bag in the picture below was for both of us.

One Duffel Bag for Two People

All in all, you can do a bit of planning to see how much you would be spending on gas and time in a car versus traveling by train or air. You will make the best choice for you, and it might even be checking out your own town as a tourist in a hotel nearby your house.

Where should we stay?

Remember that I said that we are into budget-friendly trips? This, of course, means budget-friendly accommodations. Now, I know when I say “budget-friendly”, it might sound like I’m saying “cheap” to some people. It sounds like that to me too…sometimes. It all depends on what you are willing to accept. When my husband and I travel to new cities, we don’t worry so much about the hotel room and what it has to offer. We don’t plan on spending much time there. Because we avoid big cities often times when traveling with our children, we tend to take advantage of our time in a new city and go sightseeing crazy! You might be the opposite and want to stay in a resort for the entire time to enjoy the pool or a massage. This is all great and relaxing. It is all in what you want to get out of your trip and how you want to spend it together. We just aren’t those kind of people. We love the nightlife; we love to boogie! Actually, we just love to sightsee, so our hotel rooms aren’t anything that people generally go on trips to experience. They are, however, very nice on the wallet!

When we traveled in the US, we would make use of deals that we found online. We did some research and found decent rooms at cheap hotels that may or may not have had continental breakfasts in the mornings. My husband also made use of airline points to get free hotel rooms.

In Europe, we haven’t been so picky on the places or what they have had to offer, but have focused more on the location. One such place was in Barcelona. It was located in the Gothic Quarter, which is a great central location with a lot of nightlife. We were certain to have fun there. Sure, it was located up a couple of flights of stairs in a really old and somewhat smelly building, which wasn’t weird, since the entire neighborhood was like that. It was called the “Gothic Quarter” after all…not the “New Quarter”. I just wasn’t planning on a room with two small beds that had blankets that seemed about 50 years old (I swear it had bedbugs!) or having to use a shared bathroom that was actually next door. Nothing can turn back the hands of time faster than the experience of reliving the summer I backpacked across Europe staying in hostels and sharing bathrooms. I felt 18 again! Memories!

Our Room to the Left and the Bathroom to the Right

Opting for a NOT-so-Fancy Room

I am sure you will pick a place that works for you. Oddly enough, this place in Barcelona worked for us. I’m fairly easy-going in this regard. Maybe, though, I’d like to try the resort approach just once. We had a good laugh at this place, and the man at the check-in desk was super nice. It was worth the good experience! Whether it be location, amenities, comfort, etc., pick a place that is as friendly for your budget as it is for your marriage.

Eating out

Before we take trips, we like to get an idea of what types of foods are good to try in different places. Since our stay there is limited, we don’t want to waste our time when we are there looking for a place to eat all the time, so planning ahead is key. Luckily for us, we have the internet!! Before going to Budapest, Hungary, we found tons of great vegetarian-friendly (me) restaurants and also many other places that had a variety of Hungarian specialties (my husband) which made the stress of where to eat much less. It was also nice when we could find a place that catered to both me and my husband while providing a wonderful environment to make some great memories. Choosing to make reservations beforehand at such a place was really our best move, since we noticed lots of cranky people being turned away as we were being taken to our seats. I know how cranky I get when I’m hungry, and no one wants that feeling to damper a romantic dinner!

Mazel Tov Mediterranean Restaurant (Budapest, Hungary)

Of course, we found some other places along the way for lunch, that were perfect for us! We wanted to try things that were unique to the area, so we kept things open and carefree during the day. We loved getting our lunch at the Mercado de La Boqueria in Barcelona, Spain, which was a large, public market that had meats, cheeses, pastries, fruits, vegetables, and many food stands. Our lunch was of different empanadas and fruit cups with a delicious, fresh fruit juice to wash it down. I think my husband also bought some dried meat to try there. Their hams are quite famous. It was a fantastic experience being at this market, and the food was delicious as well as budget-friendly. Other days, we ate at small places that offered great options for tapas, which can’t be missed, in my opinion.

Empanadas

Fruit Cups and Juices

Vegetarian Tapas

Breakfast was always at a local cafe, and we took advantage of the many, local happy hour specialty drinks during a few afternoons, since we weren’t driving anywhere. When in Berlin, we loved taking a “beer break” to discuss the trip and connect a bit. It was nice having downtime while enjoying the taste of something new! These extras should have a section of your budget, because you don’t want the stress of not having any extras on your trip. Just plan on a break with a refreshing drink and/or snack each day!

Eating the Local Pastries in Barcelona

Beer Break in Potsdam, Germany (just outside of Berlin)

Must-see attractions or must-do experiences

When planning the WHAT TO DO part of the trip, don’t forget the budget, since this part of the trip tends to be a big part of what you spend your money on, especially if you opt in for cheap “everything else”.

Take time to research where you are going. You don’t want to spend your time getting somewhere just to sit in a hotel room. Plan the MUST DOs with your spouse before you leave, so that you both have something to do when you get there and something to look forward to doing in the days and weeks leading up to your trip. The planning can be a fun thing you do together! It is important to have the conversation before you leave of what it is you want to do on the trip, so that you both have the same expectations of what will happen. Again, you might not plan on leaving the luxury of your resort, so this might not be a factor, but having the same expectations as your spouse will really benefit both of you. Of course, you could have one person plan the whole thing, but be prepared to be completely OK with everything that person has planned. Just saying…you had your chance to speak up before the trip!

When we went to Berlin, there were places my husband wanted to see, so we had an itinerary made before leaving that was good with both of us. While planning these activities, we also were aware of the costs in entrance fees and local transportation. We weighed the importance of more expensive experiences and checked the budget to see what would work.

During the trip, we were there in time for their Festival of Lights. I really wanted to make sure that we didn’t miss a single part of the festival, so it was helpful to get to know the map beforehand, since navigating at night in a new place can be a bit confusing. We found restaurants along the walking path of the light show, so we wouldn’t have to go out of our way to find food later, and we made sure that we were aware of how best to get back to our hotel when we were done for the day. Planning ahead for these little details helped my husband and I have a stress-free, first evening away.

Festival of Lights and Dinner at Amrit Indian Restaurant in Berlin

Know that there are always things that come up, which you might not have known about before. You may want to add or change things. Just be mindful of your budget, as not to cause a shock when paying your credit card bill later. Focus on doing things that you both will enjoy. This, after all, is a couple’s trip. Make the most out of doing things that you enjoy doing together!

One such experience was going to see the great Leo Messi and his team play a professional soccer game in Barcelona. My husband and I have always enjoyed going to live sporting events, and since we were going to be in the town of his favorite soccer club, we just had to add this experience to our trip. We bought the tickets ahead of time and were able to get a good price for great seats. Though it rained more that night than any other night I can remember in a very long time, we still had a great time cheering with the other crazy fans! “The rain in Spain DOES fall mainly on the plain”, but then it creates a flood and rolls like an angry waterfall down the steps of the stadium. Holy wet shoes (and pants, and shirt), Batman! Those are memories that will last a lifetime!

FBC Barcelona Game

Relax and Enjoy

Overall, relax yourself on this trip! You don’t need to see it all or do it all in order to have a nice time. This is supposed to be a time away with your spouse that you have been really looking forward to having, so don’t stress the small stuff. Leave your stresses out of this trip, and focus on having a great time together. Enjoy each other’s company! Find reasons to laugh with each other and look at new things with amazement and positivity. Share these wonders with each other. This trip can be a way for you to reconnect with each other as you reconnect with the younger versions of yourselves, when your conversations were centered around each other and not your children or your jobs. Allow yourselves these few days to be something other than someone’s parent, just enough for you to return refreshed as individuals and re-energized as a married couple all the while knowing that you didn’t break your bank in the process. Aren’t you ready to plan your next couple’s getaway?!

Morning Walk in Barcelona

Have you taken a memorable couple’s getaway with your spouse? Where did you go and what did you do? How do you think it helped you as parents and as a married couple?

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