Captain Underpants and Raising Boys

Why do kids have this obsession with walking around in their underwear? I say kids, because I don’t think it is a gender thing. I think I recall my mom saying something about me always being in my underwear, running around the backyard was I was three. It surely didn’t continue much longer after that. I don’t remember why I did it, and I really don’t know why my kids do it.

I have boys who love to be in their underwear, and I even have a friend who has two boys who are constantly in their underwear. I don’t think I have ever been to her house when they weren’t sitting on the couch or playing cars or doing some other task in their underwear. The pictures she shares of them are also when they are in their underwear. What is this all about?

For the most part, my kids are usually fully dressed when they are at home. I think I do a decent job of making sure that they have tops and bottoms on at all times, but there are the occasional moments when I take my gaze off of them for a second and all of a sudden, one of them is topless. This will, of course, encourage the other one to take off his shirt, and then, they either start to make some sort of nipple reference or bump bellies together. They turn into little cavemen.

I don’t get it.

Bath time is the worst. I don’t know what other parents do or the problems that they have with more than one boy in the house at bath time, but my boys, who are two and a half years apart, need to be separated during their time in the bathroom. This means that I often have to stand as a guard to keep the peace/my sanity, which is so annoying. If I don’t stand in the bathroom, watching their every move and keeping one away from the other, anything could happen. Those “anythings” tend to be pee pee guitar solos or dances that could be used in training videos for Chippendale dancers.

Where do they learn this stuff?

The thought of actually getting clean or brushing teeth never even crosses their minds. They use this as playtime at the expense of the dryness of the bathroom floor, which always seems to be running with water if they manage to be in the bathroom at the same time. If one escapes the bathroom before it is his time in the shower, it is like a wild pig being chased for the slaughter. A wild pig in his underwear. I can’t imagine what people would think of our household if they were to look in the windows at the exact same moment that one of them runs by to flash his little butt and then run away laughing.

Who are these people?

I know I can’t blame the underwear for making my kids wild or even a little weird, but strange things start to happen when they strip down to their underwear. For this specifically, it must be a boy thing. I can’t tell you how many times I have been called to “check this out” by one of them. Only to find a smiling boy standing with his junk peeking over the top of his underwear’s waistband as he stands with his hands on his hips like some sort of triumphant superhero. They both laugh their little heads off, because they think it is so funny to play a trick on mom.

Why do they have to tease me with stuff like that? It’s just gross if you ask me!

I have heard often times that boys are infatuated with their genitalia. This is all the proof I need for that statement to be true. I secretly dream that technology will advance to the point where scientists will develop new underwear for little boys who constantly feel the need to play with their “little friend”. But if they did, it wouldn’t be while my kids are little and in need of some serious help in the self-control area. It is just a hope for boy moms of the future.

Is this a universal thing? Do moms in other countries on the other side of the world deal with this kind of stuff? Please tell me I’m not alone in this!

It all started when my oldest was about 5 years old, and now that he is 9, I seriously feel that the end to funny underwear episodes is nowhere in sight! Will they still be flashing me their junk at 15?

I seriously hope not! The thought really makes me cringe!

As for now, it is just something my little boys do, but it drives me crazy!

When I put them to bed and read a story, lately, the youngest one wants to read Captain Underpants. For the most part, the book deals with more than just a guy in his underwear, so I don’t make the connection between the character and my own Captain Underpants boys. However, when little brother asks that I make him a new superhero cape to be red like the one Captain Underpants uses, I feel that I need to put my foot down. He doesn’t need any more reasons to be in his underwear, if you ask me.

The thought is very creative, though. I like that he is a little thinker. He’s just a kid being a kid, right? How can I really say “no” to his imagination. I’m not a mean mom…mostly, so I suggest that he use the blue cape that I already made for him. I don’t mention anything about needing to be in his underwear.

“No, mom! It isn’t the same. I want to be JUST like Captain Underpants,” says little brother with lots of determination.

Now, my thoughts are starting to run wild. What does he mean “just like Captain Underpants”? Am I an enabler if I let this continue? If little brother is anything like big brother, I know I have at least two more years of pee pee guitar solos if I encourage him to run around in his underwear. How much more can I take?

“Why do you want to be running around in your underwear anyway?” I ask him, finally ready to understand just what the heck is going on inside his little head and to find a way to stop it.

“Because it’s cool, mom!”

And there you have it. How can I compete with what is “cool”? There is just no winning this battle today. Kid: 1, Mom: 0! But mark my work, there will be more battles in our future, and one day, I intend to win! But for now…

Long live Captain Underpants!